continued from last post

I decided to go to the office to pass along my resume Friday afternoon manila time.The weather was fair. It was as if Ondoy never visited the metro and caused so much misery. I rode my ever trusty bike to the bus station and locked it a nearby client’s office. I helped build that office  two years ago and today I dropping by to make sure that the SOHO was working and to check on the  technician I had hired for them. Twenty desktops, four laptops, three network printers were buzzing merrily without problems. Not so long ago I worked feverishly to complete the project to so I can sign up with one of the largest American telecoms firm free from any encumbrances . As I left my buddy, the CEO (Child Employee of the Owner) handed me a small envelope, my retainer's fee and asked me to visit another site. He still wouldn't entrust my endorsed tech with the passwords. Trust and  a reputation was something I had earned from friends and neighbors. It was something I had yet to earn Odesk. I'm still waiting for an employers to take a chance on me. 

I boarded the bus at four pm relieved that I got seat. The AC wasn’t working and it was getting worse. The person sitting beside wouldn’t stop yapping on his phone. I managed to take a snooze on my commute. I woke up suddenly anxious if I had missed my stop. I was horrified. Not because I was sweating like a hog, not because the Bumbay seated next to me started to stink. It was because an hour had passed and we weren't even still halfway to Libis!  I couldn’t imagine how I was able to stand this routine day and day out.

Libis, is one of the sprawling call center capitals in the metro. There must be two dozen offices within the complex. Dell, Amberbase, Accenture, IBM, Aetna, Erickson among others. I checked in my ID at the receptionist desk at looked at the clock it was 7:30 pm. Another two and a half hours of my so called life down the drain. It reminded me why, more than ever I wanted to work from home.

Again I did some Math. Three to four hours a day. Fifteen to twenty hours a week, 60 to 80 hours a month, 720 to 960 hours a year was what the cost of working at that office.  Thirty to forty days a year spent sitting on a stinking bus in the sweltering heat and maddening traffic. I sighed and told myself it was the price I paid for the job. A job that provided .6 vacation leaves a month and paid a net of $2.2 an hour. My job was one the highest paying jobs in Manila. 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my former team mate. Ecstatic we said out hi's and hellos. She updated me on the situation. The entire team of 23 agents were already terminated for not meeting the metrics. It was something that I foresaw, one of the reasons why I decided to pursue Freelancing. Call centers were shaving costs by denying agents tenure and cutting benefits. She wasn't just someone of the streets. My was teammate, a fellow alumnus, was a magna cum laude from  UP Diliman and held a Masters.

I turned around and walked away stunned. My human resource professor was right. Job security was a mere illusion. It was insane for me to walk back in there to ask for my old job back. I didn't want to go back home. I tried to cheer myself up and indulged in a buffet at "Something Fishy". Something Fishy was a favorite hangout for call center agents. Their midnight "eat all you can" buffet costs Php115 or $2.25. As I sat alone on a table waiting for midnight I noticed this hot chick checking me out. We ended up talking about how her friend's website was able to achieve 75,000 hits on her website. That wasn't made me smile though, it was because she ended up asking my number. I declined and asked we just exchange facebook accounts indeed. I never thought I'd get to use the old push pull technique. I went home with a smile on my face and a her email and cell written on my fore arm.

I went home and found myself in front of my screen reading my profile and the community blog. I guess there's always room for improvement. I had 13 active and 13 inactive candidacies but no interview invitations. But I did see something. I was bookmarked as a favorite provider by 3 buyers!  In addition I checked official oDesk blog and they implemented a change in policy. Josh and the odesk team were working on the issues. I realized something. My failure is also Odesk's failure. Odesk never stopped trying to improve itself, neither should I. Out of the kindness of her heart someone from the Coffee break forum  pledged to endorse me on future projects.

A couple of days ago I wrote "I want something out of this but WHAT?"

The answer was failure. Painful, embarrassing and powerful. I did get something of it. It wasn't dollars and cents, but they invaluable none the less.

1. A lesson in humility: I am competing with a global workforce and not just a local population.
2. A lesson in patience: Providers can only view ten at people a time of which nine are spammers.
3. A lesson in perseverance: It was exhausting, tiring,  but I can't give up now.
4. A lesson in learning: I learned to do cloud computing on Blogger and put up widgets.

That tormenting bus ride to work today reminded me why I wanted to work at home and why the two weeks I spent shouldn't be considered expenditure but rather an investment. I realized that I had worked hard for what I wanted and I deserved to give myself a second chance. I deserve a chance at this. I refuse to fail. I DESERVE to give myself another chance. I want this I WANT this and I wanted it BAD.